The Spandex Queen
She looks good in shorts, but bolts when the treadmill stops.
Do: Start slowly. Keep early conversation in the moment -- the guy in the
ridiculous shorts, the awful song playing, the monotony of ab work,
says Teresa Strasser, a relationship expert and cohost of How to Get the Guy.
Next: Ask for her opinion -- about a gym class, a restaurant, a movie.
She'll appreciate it without feeling threatened. Then ask about mundane
stuff -- the stuff that no one else asks her about. "Don't attack me
from the beginning," says Amy, a 34-year-old program director who met a
guy over a few weeks in yoga class. "It felt like he was getting to
know me."
Don't: Correct her form as an excuse to talk. Insecurity runs high at the gym.
"The
message is 'You don't know what you're doing,'" Strasser says. And stay
away when she's sweating. She's exerting; intrusions are annoying.
Also Goes For: Fellow train commuters, running-club members, adult-ed classmates
The Office Siren
You see her every day. And if something goes wrong, you still will.
Do: Spread the love. Sharing credit for job tasks shows confidence, says
Lisa Daily, a dating coach and author. A group is going out for drinks?
Invite her. She won't let the fact that you work together stop her. "If
a woman likes a guy, it might be awkward, but she'll still be excited
about it," says Alison, a 32-year-old finance director.
Don't: Enlist an office matchmaker. Gossip kills romance, and she wants to be
taken seriously. For privacy, use e-mail, but keep the flirtation
IT-friendly. If she balks, back off quickly. This isn't the place for
heavy pursuit.
Also Goes For: Physical therapists, business clients
The Hot Waitress
She's attentive and friendly, but is she just working for her tips?
Do: Stand out. Come in regularly, sit in her section, and be polite to
everyone. In a business where she gets the brunt of bad behavior,
"manners are an aphrodisiac," Strasser says. Refer to things she tells
you -- her favorite dish, the test she's studying for -- in future
conversations. Listening is your move.
Don't: Overtip. She'll feel objectified; stick with 20 percent.
Also Goes For: Flight attendants, bartenders, hairstylists
The Barista
She's neck-deep in lattes; you can't get a word in edgewise.
Do: Empathize. Show up after the morning rush, when she's less frazzled,
and ask if it's a tough day. You're into her, not just her iced mocha,
says Debbie Magids, Ph.D., author of All the Good Ones Aren't Taken.
Build slowly. Then tell her those five minutes make a big difference in
your day. And tell her you look forward to your daily chats with her.
"If a guy would do that, it would register," says Alka, a 19-year-old
college student who works behind a café bar.
Don't: Call her by name at first, even if she's wearing a tag. It's intrusive
and highlights the subservience, Strasser says. And don't talk her up
when she's busy or with others. Respect her boundaries and the rhythms
of her job.
Also Goes For: Bookstore clerks, doctors' receptionists, hotel clerks
The Woman With The Leash
She looks happy, until your dog starts humping her leg.
Do: If she appears passionate about her pooch, show interest: Ask about the
breed, its habits, and where she regularly walks. When you're
confident, suggest meeting up. She could be looking for playmates.
Don't: Ignore your own pup. She'll watch how you treat it. And don't force your pit bull on her poodle.
"If our dogs can't coexist, we can't," says Elyse, a 40-year-old teacher and whippet owner.
Also Goes For: Neighborhood gardeners, nannies
Source: MSN
